Artist: Tamantha Williams
Title: Unforgiving Mind
Medium: Oil on Canvas
Size: 70cm x 100cm
“It does not ask, because it thinks it knows, it does not question, certain it is right”. This is a mind that holds on to fear, no matter the damage it causes, no matter the fact that we may feel fearless, within we feel it. The fear born from unforgiveness, the father, being guilt.
Holding dearly to this prize possession of unforgiveness, we hold on to the right of victimhood, the right of self defence, the right to attack. We ‘truly’ have the best intentions, after all we were done in and therefore have the ‘right’ NOT to forgive. As we clamp down on our understanding of our luckless life we accept the joker set of cards we must have been dealt though unwilling to let it go. We get stuck… truly. The armour we don our heart with as a form of protection becomes a tomb of loneliness. We select the strait jacket and wear it with pride, in our misfortune we have found our place in life, and offer to forgive on condition…. and so forgiveness becomes a contradiction of terms, there is no forgiveness taking place no matter how hard we try convince ourselves we have forgiven.
“Those you do not forgive your fear, and no one reaches love with fear beside him.”
The Unforgiving mind is stuck in the quagmire of the past, replaying it into the present perpetuating it into the future. Standing still. Dead still. It “looks upon the world with sightless eyes”, afraid, “Afraid to go ahead, afraid to stay, afraid to waken or to go asleep.”
And so, “The blind become accustomed to their world by their adjustments to it. They think they know their way about it. They learned it not through joyous lessons, but through the stern necessity of limits they believed they could not overcome. And still believing this, they hold those lessons dear and cling to them, because they cannot see.”